CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS

[edit] ALL THAT PRECEEDS THIS IS MADNESS

The rest of it can be read at your own risk, or the risk of those around you.

Otherwise, try here again.

[edit] MANIFESTO

We wanted to write a manifesto, but none of us could agree on what it would say, and Schrodingers Cat was dead. Then Balthazar the Cat accused Buttered Cat of being obnoxious, and he agreed, making Balthy even more angry. He threw a pie at Buttered Cat, but missed and it hit Dhanoth in the face, who yelled an unholy yell, turned green and threw shit at Balthy, who was busy bashing Buttered Cat over the head with a mallet, and missed, hitting the fan instead. Thats when shit hit the fan. HE'SDEADJIM took offense at shit getting in his Beer, and started breaking wind noisily in tune with Batman, While Dr Crabologist swung from the chandeliers pretending to be Dr. John Zoidberg, who was not impressed and pelted him with kippers. Schrodingers Cat was still dead. Jason Bourne slunk around using his SUPER SEKRIT SPIE SKILLS, giving Harpo Marx the STEALTH HEIMLICH MANOUVER, causing him to cough up a prawn that smacked into the back of the head of The High Priestess, and stuck there, making her go nuts about her precious hair. She then set Crazy Pete on fire for no reason at all, except prawny hair, which i guess could be a good reason if one was into hair and not so much into shrimp. Anyway, Crazy Pete ran around screaming for help, stting furnishings on fire before finding a fire extinguisher, which had been meanly refilled with Methane Gas by Cruella DeVille, who was renowned for looking fabulous in her Dalmation suit. The resulting explosion knocked over the buffet table. Thats when Professor Doppelgänger got mad, and used his DEATH RAY on Infinitely Prolonged Wowbagger, who ran around screaming as he was burnt to a crisp. Professor Membrane, not to be outdone, Grabbed Efficiency and Stuffed him into his car and tried to drive off. It would have worked too had the Prince of Dorkness not been siphoning off his gas and replacing it with sawdust to fuel his illegal Gas for Sawdust Campaign which had earlier earned him the ire of POKEY THE PENGUIN, who decried the despoiling of his native habitat with all this technomancy. Schrodingers Cat was still dead. R0ACH yawned and wondered what all the fuss was about, before fleeing a manic and inappropriately named Wonko The Sane, who tried to smash him flat with the toaster. A man, wearing only a lab coat tried to snatch the toaster away, but ended up with his hand stuck inside while it was set to cook. He kicked and screamed while A guy who can't emote said "HAHAHA!" to him, but otherwise remained perfectly neutral in every way. a cute and fluffy bunny finally took pity upon the poor Labcoat and removed it from him, leaving him naked and with his hand in a toaster. Eventually The pants fairy wandered by, giving out underwear for everyone. I got a pair with brown speedmarks. Ninja Kitten slunk around in the shadows, remaining unseen, and giving STEALTH WEDGIES to any and all who wandered by. Schrodingers Cat was still dead. The Melee Wizard leaped through the air on hoverskates, screaming obscenities as he found his baseball bat had been replaced with a dead trout by The Count, who was otrherwise being quietly megalomaniacal in the corner, plotting to destroy Rui Faleiro in a horrible way. At this point, Schrodingers Cat appeared and walked into the room and called for calm, but caught a blast from Mahad the Second's Cat Disintegration ray, and now he is dead again. Debbie Downer and Mr. Mister remained all but unseen in the corner amidst the carnage. What were they up to? Howard Roark was looking on, and he looked positively excited about all this, until he was clubbed over the head by Dr. Frank-N-Furter who thought he was a politician. Schrodingers cat is still dead.

[edit] Earl of Mudchester

[edit] Duke of Patangi-tangi

[edit] Khaaaaaaaaaaaaan of something-or-other

Little known that Khaaaaaaaaaaaaan is in fact a cow-god. He is god of cows, beef products, and for some reason, equine. He was stripped of his godly powers sometime in the 7th century for taking a horde of cows to Britain and trying to raze its main cities. When asked by fellow gods why he would do such a thing, his only response was "I did it for the lulz". It is believed it was incredibly drunk at the time. Khaaaaaaaaaaaaan once came upon the faction of CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS and thought he could try to raze a city again, but upon entering the SH a group of mad cats mauled him and stappled his hide to the wall as a trophy.

[edit] An Ode to Terry Bobsleen

There once was a man from Nantucket

Who kept all his eggs in a bucket

When they hatched he reckoned

If he taught Beethoven's Second

To the chicks then they could learn to cluck it.