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Contents 1 2007 - The Year of the Gangsta 1.1 January, 2007 1.2 February, 2007 1.3 March 2007 1.4 April 2007 1.5 May 2007 1.6 June 2007 1.7 July 2007 1.8 August 2007 1.9 September, 2007 1.10 October 2007 1.11 November, 2007 1.12 December, 2007 2 2008 2.1 January 2008 2.2 February 2008 2.3 March 2008 2.4 April 2008 2.5 May 2008 2.6 June 2008

[edit] 2007 - The Year of the Gangsta

The EOG took out 122 Factions and purchased 11 stronghold upgrades in 2007. With all that violence the most they raided any other faction was six times. We spread the hate. We slaughter viciously. We murder angel and demon alike. Edgetown, mawfuckaz.

One Hundred and Twenty Two Standards Taken - -b ± sqrt b² - 4ac / 2a, A Clockwork Orange (x3), Abandoned, All Your Souls (x5), Alliance of St. Germaine (x6), Assassins of the Myst, Asylum (x3), Black Goat with 1000 Young, Black Mambas, Bringers of Death, Brotherhood (x2), Celestial Heirarchy, CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS (x2), Clan Hellstrom, Children of the Lightbulb, Convent of Nuns (x3), Coven, Coven of the Blood Moon, Covert Moles (x2), Crystalmir Corporation, Dark Oppressors Guild (x2), Decepticons (x2), Defenders of Valgrind, Demons Next Door (x2), Demons Without Borders (x2), Doctors Without Borders, Dunell Hills Police Department (x3), End of Level Bad Guys, Eternals, Evil Engineers LLC, Friends of English Magic, Friends of the Wrench, GMT Breakfast Club, Guild of Dragonmages, Hentai All Stars, High Knights of Liberation, Hoodie Ninja Pizza and Subs, Host of Zebulun, Invisible Danger (x6), Juice Crew All Stars, Knights Templar (x2), Kommando Dosenbier (x2), Lawful Good!!, Legion, Literati, Merry Men (x2), Murder Inc., Nightmares (x2), NRA Nutjobs (x3), Order of Darkness, OVERPOWERED, Paradox, Phoenix, Privateers of the Elder Sign, Ragged Philanthropists, Rambling Drunks, Random Shocking Violence, Royal Green Jackets (x3), Scourge (x2), Sentinels (x2), Serial Killers, Shacknews (x2), Shiney Knights, Shining Ones (x2), Shrine of Hamaskis, Sith Order, Soldiers of Duat, Spanish Inquisition (x2), Team Laser Explosion (x2), Trinitas (x2), Undeadites, Unseen University (x2), Venture Industries (x3), Warseers, White Lotus Society

[edit] January, 2007

Most of the EOG were still sobering up from their New Year's Eve Party. So January was a bit slow.

Two Standards Taken - Crystalmir Corporation, Dunnell Hills Police Department

January 12th - Crystalmir Corporation, long criticized for their policies that hurt the poor communities, is attacked by a mob of angry citizens, many of whom are wearing EOG colors. The corporate offices are burned down and only by offering up their faction standard do any of the bigwigs escape with their lives!

January 17th - The Jail of the Dunnell Hills Police Department is blown open by explosives and the police force is slaughtered. Orcs, gangsters, hos, and orc hos all escape. Many of them are still at large!

January 23rd - The Wild Hunt is attacked by gang members wearing Edgetown colors. Despite being shot dozens and dozens of times, the Hunt repels the home invasion and keeps their bling safe.

[edit] February, 2007

February was when MacDre got his new caddy, so naturally he drove it all over the place, givin his homies rides to places the EOG had never been before - Harper Island, the Forgotten City, Foghaven, and even Paradise.

Twelve Standards Taken - All Your Souls, Alliance of Saint Germaine, Black Goat with 1000 Young, Book Club, Convent of Nuns (x2), Decepticons, Hentai All Stars, High Knights, Paradox, Shiny Knights, White Lotus Society

February 2nd - Marsellus Wallace and a gang of his cronies terrorize the Shiny Knights when they kill everyone inside in a mistaken effort to get revenge on the Wild Hunt. To this day EOGs talk about this raid as if they had taken the Wild Hunt standard, when in actuality they were nowhere near the Wild Hunt stronghold.

February 8th - A pack of gangsters, accompanied by orcs, wearing Edgetown colors, slaughter and molest the Convent of Nuns, and then disturb a bunch of quiet readers at the Book Club. Several citizens are rushed to the Harper hospital when their jaws and brains are overloaded from expressing shock and outrage too vehemently!

February 10th - Just before a member of All Your Souls could turn states evidence and testify against Edgetown, masked assailants broke in and killed everybody in their house. A few minutes later, the High Knights had their entire crop stolen by the very same assailants.

February 15th - The White Lotus society are targeted for revenge for years of oppression. Gangsters yelling about where the brown and black lotuses were, and why their stories had never been told, came up to Paradise and slaughtered every single one of the White Lotuses. After finding that the White Lotus society all shopped at Crystalmir, Crystalmir Corporation was also attacked, but managed to repel the criminals thanks to a brilliant tactic of calling the gangsters girlfriend's and telling them diamond rings were on sale. Once they heard this, the EOG fled the scene with all due haste.

February 16th - Three gang members of the EOG, all riding in the same car, wiped out the stronghold of the veteran Paradox warriors.

February 18th - The Convent of Nuns are again attacked, this time a swarm of vermin consumes one of the holy sisters alive!

February 22nd - The Forgotten City gets shot up as both the Black Goat and the Decepticons find themselves robbed and harassed by gangstas gone crazy. What the EOG were doing about as far from Edgetown as one can get in the Nexus is anyone's guess.

February 24th - The Alliance of St. Germaine, one of the largest organizations in the Nexus, is attacked and decimated by an alliance of Pirates and Gangsters. The body count is at least three hundred, making it the largest mass murder Edgetown has ever been involved in. Mac Dre takes the standard.

February 27th - The Hentai All Stars are given a sneak peak of the first album of the Rated G Kiddie. The music was so dope they couldn't take it anymore, and gladly offered up their faction standard in exchange for a promotional copy of the G Kiddie's album.

[edit] March 2007

March was community service month in Edgetown. The gangstas went far and wide, finally learning enough that they built a forge and a medical center in Edgetown. Things really started to pickup, as local manufacturing and health care were the best they'd ever been.

Thirteen Standards Taken - All Your Souls, Asylum, Celestial Hierarchy, Covert Moles, End of Level Bad Guys, Friends of English Magic, Juice Crew All Stars, Merry Men, Royal Green Jackets, Serial Killers, Sentinels, Team Laser Explosion, Unseen University

March 4th - Team Laser Explosion, infested with leprakorns, unsure of where to turn, were SAVED by the intervention of the Edgetown Original Gangsters. Like St. Patrick before them, the EOG slaughtered the leaprakorns and then turned on the rightful inhabitants of the house. Unseen University called up with a similar problem, and the EOG gladly fumigated the building, making sure the leprakorns couldn't hurt anyone.

March 7th - Gangsters, accompanied by members of a secret brigade which our sources were unable to confirm or deny the existence of, showed up uninvited to a party at All Your Souls. While things started off well, the discovery of the works of J.R.R. Tolkien set the orc-friendly gangsters into a rage induced killing spree. There were no survivors among All Your Souls. Following this, the gangsters and their mysterious friends poured through the nearby portal to Paradise, where they tracked leprakorns into a hobbit hole. While those involved swore they were actually the Covert Moles, the gangsters insisted they were leprakorns and hobbits and killed them all.

March 8th - A handful of gangsters accompanied a Pirate invasion of paradise. In retaliation for angels breaking their ward and killing gangsters, one of the more prominent paradise factions caught a few dozen death clouds upside their punk heads.

March 11th - In just twenty minutes gangsters invade Foghaven to take two standards (Juice Crew All Stars and End of Level Bad Guys), break three wards, and retrieve four ally flags. The EOG almost felt bad afterwards, as members of both factions that lost their standards came onto the EOG's irc channel to cry about being raided. Just breaks your heart, doesn't it?

March 14th - A rash of robberies in the South of Vine area! The Asylum, Merry Men, and Sentinels, all report missing their valuable belongings, the more attractive members of their factions, and the nicer hubcaps from their cars. All three faction standard were taken within 12 minutes! While several of the victims were able to positively identify members of the EOG, several others made outlandish stories about covert operatives being involved. Authorities tried to investigate these claims, but found themselves taken off of the case and transferred to Corpus Island for asking too many questions. It looks like the EOG have gotten away with it again!

March 15th - The Royal Green Jackets, a hard working bunch of outstanding character, were interrupted well past tea-time when members of the EOG brazenly walked in and announced they were stealing the forge! Despite several letters to the Queen of England, no redcoats were dispatched to deal with the green menace!

March 19th - (Name deleted for reasons of National Security), a prominent member of the EOG, announced that he sought to retire from the group. In typical EOG fashion, he was killed. The death blow was landed by Alis, who was quoted as saying, "The only way out this muhfucka (sic) is in a goddamn body bag, ya'mean?" In related news, Malt Liquor stocks soared, due in no small part to the gallons poured over (Name deleted)'s loss.

March 24th - The Serial Killers get a taste of their own medicine as the EOG bust in and take their flag. The killers learn not to show up in the crib uninvited. The Friends of English Magic also are attacked, but the EOG are so high they forget to take the standard.

March 26th - The EOG return to the friends of english magic, this time remembering to take the standard on their way out. They also stop by the Celestial Heirarchy and take their standard too, just for shits and giggles.

[edit] April 2007

In April the EOG began to move up to bigger enemies, tackling several factions bigger than them and organizing a gigantic stomping of the Alliance of Saint Germaine. While they had built up considerable muscle power in the past few months, April saw the EOG really mixing it up in a political sense.

Thirteen Standards Taken - All Your Souls, Brotherhood, Dunnell Hills Police Department, Eternals, GMT Breakfast Club, Ho-Made Pizza, Invisible Danger, Knights Templar, Kommando Dosenbier, NRA Nutjobs, Royal Green Jackets, Scourge, Soldiers of Duat

April 2nd - A confused member of All Your Souls accidentally builds their SH in the wrong place. Kibbs and Woomba are kind enough to help him relocate.

April 5th - Gangsters, enraged at the lack of booze at their parties, go all the way to the Witch's Waste and stomp on the Warriors, then decide it was all the police's fault, and drive over deserts, portals, and volcanos to the Caldera Sea and take out the DHPD too. Alcoholics Anonymous may have been involved, but as one observer pointed out "How could I tell the difference?"

April 7th - The EOG's public defenders have announced that they plan to invoke the 5th amendment if any questions are asked about their presence in the strongholds of Invisible Danger and the Brotherhood. All EOGs have alibis for the day which their appointed counsel describe as "possibly credible." Whether charges will be pressed is still unknown.

April 10th - Four EOGs, on their way to enjoy Ho-Made Pizza, encounter a Ninja Delivery service delivering sandwiches. They are SO infuriated at this that they burn down the delivery store, taking their menus, sandwiches, and pizzas. Oh, and standard. Ho-Made Pizza is the only Pizza that will be delivered in E-town!

April 11th - "There's only room in this Nexus for one group of gun happy lunatics." Was the EOG's flimsy excuse for attacking the NRA Nutjobs and taking their standard. While the EOGs remain firmly in support of the right to bear arms, they made clear that they feel they have the right to bear more arms than anyone else.

April 12th - EOG veteran Dyno was sitting around getting high, when he decided to go out and get something done. With very little planning he gathered his friends and knocked over the strongholds of the Royal Green Jackets and the GMT Breakfast Club. Beware of bored gangstas.

April 14th - Dyno and Turenne decided to get high. So they traveled up, up, up, to Paradise! There they met some good old boys called the Knights Templar and, for purely historical purposes decided to preserve their standard in the Edgetown Museum.

April 17th - Their homies from Balance called and the EOGs answered, leveling the stronghold of the Scourge, drinking all their 40s, and smoking all the Stygian hell-chronic they could find!

April 20th - It had been over two months since the EOG were seen in the Forgotten City, but out of nowhere they came, burning down the strongholds of the Soldiers of Duat and Kommando Dosenbier, retreiving ally flags and dispensing insults in the process!

April 22nd - The G Kiddie peforms his first ever gig at an oil rig, specifically the stronghold of our surfer homies, the Salty Dogs. He's well rewarded by the homies from the sea for his kickass performance.

April 22nd - Proving that everyone loves gangstas, the EOG led allies from the Pirates and the RRF on the first raid in months that cleared a faction of over 200 angels without the use of AoE. Since the AoSG love calling dogpiles against the EOG, the gangsters decided to show them what a dogpile really was, and did it the right way, without AoE, without jumping onto irc channels to whine or brag afterwards or attacking their SH while they were setting up. Just because we gotta live by these chumps don't mean we gotta act like them.

April 25th - Gangstas aren't afraid of death. And they proved it, by killing the Eternals and taking their flag.

[edit] May 2007

May saw the EOG return to tangling with mid-level factions, although they got into it with some of the larger neutral and evil factions as well. The EOG pulled off a couple rather impressive no-AoE raids as well as showing how quickly they can demolish a faction that gets under their skin.

Seventeen Standards Taken - A Clockwork Orange, Assassins of the Myst, Black Mambas, Bringers of Death, Brotherhood, Covert Moles, Defenders of the Nifty, Demons Without Borders, Doctors Without Borders, Host of Zebulun, Invisible Danger (x2), Order of Darkness, Privateers of the Elder Sign, Random Shocking Violence, Shacknews, Spanish Inquisition

May 1 - Revenge is served cold blooded when the EOG storm the stronghold of the Black Mambas, slaying all for revenge, once again without the use of AoE. The gangsters seem to be returning to a style of physical combat that the rest of the Nexus has forgotten about.

May 4 - The EOG had a raid planned, got attacked by a coalition of angels, fought them off, and then still had enough left to to tear up the Order of Darkness and give them a stern warning about oppressing orcs in the future. Killin angels in the hood in the morning, killing the undead in hell at night. Just another day for the EOG.

May 8 - Nearly four months after their last failed raid, the EOG come up short in their revenge hit on Invisible Danger. Thanks to members of the Faithful, Divine Slayers, Acta Sanctorum, Clockwork Orange, and other nearby factions pouring in on defense the gangsters give up and go home.

May 12 - After a few back and forth struggles the EOG KO Invisible Danger, while checking them to see if their vocal cords are still functioning. They definitely have mouths but they don't seem to know how to use them.

May 13 - In what is probably their last visit to the Forgotten City for awhile, the EOG visit Shacknews and Random Shocking Violence to say Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mother's day horrible demons of the Forgotten land!

May 15 - Ice-T's new solo Zealot Killer is played so loud in the stronghold of the Host of the Zeubulun that the earth shakes over and over and over. The gangstas never expected to find the Spanish Inquisition on their way back, but were so hungry they stopped by the Covert Moles so the orc could get some ingredients for his gumbo. An excellent day to be a gangsta.

May 16 - EOGs easily break down the ward of the Shining Ones and kill only the two who had fucked with Edgetown. TSO, of course, never miss a chance to show they have no class whatsoever and quickly failed to counter-attack Edgetown. Word is TSO were surprised when their dogpile request to the Pirates (a longtime EOG ally) got no results. You gotta wonder why some factions even bother logging in in the morning.

May 21 - The Bringers of Death build a SH in Edgetown. They win the prize! No one is spared.

May 22 - Invisible Danger really just doesn't get it. They tell the EOG they want to be "even." The EOG explain how even means that we each attack each other the same number of times and that they've attacked us more, so we get to attack them again. ID responds by failing to raid the EOG twice in the same day. Exasperated that they now have to lower themselves to raiding ID *three* more times, the EOG waste no time and level Invisible Danger the same day, and pick up the Demons Without Borders flag on the way home.

May 24 - The EOG decide to pay ex-member Murgafurgh a visit. On the way there they find some people who claim to be defending something nifty, so being gangsters they decide to jack it. A nice standard, that is pretty nifty! The EOG found Murgafurgh hanging out with some whack ass privateers and they quickly pulled down the not so Jolly Roger and hoisted it away. Finally, the EOG stopped by the brotherhood to show them what unity is really all about. Weak ass factions have Revenants that refuse to raid Paradise. EOG has Revenants that demand to raid paradise. That's how we roll.

May 26 - The EOG got their homeys back. In the afternoon they helped the Salty Dogs settle a score with Invisible Danger (thankfully lowering it to only one more attack the EOG owe them to even up) and help the Fight Club settle their score with the Convent of Nuns. Later on, the EOG head back and take out A Clockwork Orange just so they can get theirs.

May 30 - An impromptu raid due to the inability of certain gangsters to tell time, the EOG welcome the Assassins of the Myst to the neighborhood. The Assassins consider themselves served.

May 31 - Ending the month with a bang, the EOG do another of their patented no-AoE raids, taking out the Doctors Without Borders in a frenzy of fists, steel, spells and bullets. Maybe that will teach everyone to stop calling the EOG mindless thugs!

[edit] June 2007

It was an easy summer in Edgetown. While the EOGs took twenty standards, they were only successfully attacked once. Jack Deck started using the old 40 bottles to reinforce the stronghold walls, and Kibbs was so covert he was invisible for most of the month! The Million Orc March was a fantastic success. All in all, an excellent month to be green.

Twenty Standards Taken - -b ± sqrt b² - 4ac / 2a, Abandoned, All Your Souls, Alliance of Saint Germaine, Asylum, Clan Hellstrom, Dark Oppressors Guild, Decepticons, Demons Next Door, Evil Engineers, Guild of Dragonmages, Knights Templar, Kommando Dosenbier, Merry Men, Nightmares, Royal Green Jackets, Shacknews, Team Laser Explosion, Unseen University, Venture Industries

June 1 - The EOG always start things off with a bang. First they applied street justice to the Royal Green Jackets for their bad habit of killing gangsters in the Ragged Fort, then they tore down the corrupt headquarters of Venture Industries. Viva la ghetto!

June 4 - The EOG are fed up with the vile evil of Clan Hellstrom and the Nightmares. They tear into Stygia and rip those factions a new one! Been spendin most my love killin down in Gangsta stygia.

June 7 - It was a great day for Edgetown! Bullets flew, grenades exploded, the earth shook, death clouds rolled, statics...rumbled, Weylan maxed out, and the EOG took down the largest faction they've ever raided solo, the Demons Next Door who are more than twice the gangstas size!!! A great victory for Edgetown, and hopefully the start of beautiful friendship!

June 9 - No one expects the Edgetown Inquisition! Three evil factions are smited! Decepticons, Shacknews, and Kommando Dosenbier all get the pleasure of a return visit from the EOG! What evil will next feel the sting of the EOG gangsta smite?!?!

June 13 - MILLION ORC MARCH! REMEMBER MINAS TIRITH! I'M GREEN AND I'M PROUD! These and other such slightly confusing slogans were shouted as the EOGs burned down the stronghold of their cross-plane rivals the DOGs. The EOGs have demanded that the DOGs pay the orcs reparations. Talks are apparently stalled.

June 15 - You are not your stronghold. The EOG join allies from Fight Club and the Salty Dogs in an attack on Harper Island that leaves it empty of large angel factions. The world-famous rapper "Rated" G-Kiddie maxes out, as does Gorbag Dakka who also takes the AoSG flag! A good day for orcs!

June 17 - The Million Orc March continues!!! Edgetown soundly rebukes the Evil Engineers for using Orc Labor to power their generators, then soundly thrashes the vagrant schoolmasters at Unseen University for teaching hate in the classroom! Orc liberation marches on!

June 20 - As the Million Orc March winds down it takes a meandering route through the westside of Saint Germaine. The Guild of Dragonmages is soundly rebuked for feeding orcs to their dragons, the merry men are chastised for robbing from orcs and giving to elves and the asylum are assured, through maniacal, homicidal bloodshed that orcs are just as sane as the rest of us. I think we really moved closer to understanding one another. Don't you?

June 23 - It's an old school drive by!!! Northpoint and Ridleybank are shot to swiss cheese!!!! Team Laser Explosion and the quadratic equation get blasted in slow motion!!! The number of police officers who died just a week before retirement in Northpoint sets the whole neighborhood ablaze! An entire generation of children in Ridleybank are deprived of math lessons! The horror! The horror!

June 24 - Hello from the cracks in the streets of Edgetown. Where ghouls drink the blood of trespassers who don't belong in the hood. Seventy ghouls descend on All Your Souls and eat them alive. The slaughter is horrific. Reports that some of the ghouls were stealing DVD players instead of eating brains cannot be confirmed. The EOG then take some sample ghouls up to Paradise to try to sell to the Knights Templar, but the knights won't give in to the EOG extortion racket, and are all slaughtered. Finally, the EOG teach the Abandoned a valuable lesson in who's stronghold door not to repair.

[edit] July 2007

The Edgetown rampage continued, causing the Nexus to run red with the blood of weak ass suckers all over the place.

Twenty Standards Taken - A Clockwork Orange, CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS, Children of the Lightbulb, Coven, Coven of the Blood Moon, Defenders of the Nifty, Defenders of Valgrind, Lawful Good!!, Legion, Nightmares, NRA Nutjobs, Phoenix, Rambling Drunks, Scourge, Shrine of Hamaskis, Sith Order, Spanish Inquisition, Undeadites, Venture Industries, Warseers

July 1 - It was a bizarre series of events that led to the greatest and best raid in the world on the NRA Nutjobs. Reports that green low rider elephants were then taken across Iverson in a secret backdoor attack on the Legion, a la the great OG Hannibal, could not be confirmed.

July 3 - Sick of having their electricity cut off, the EOG roll up to Wright's Corridor and ransack the offices of "the man" a.k.a. the Children of the Lightbulb. A second detachment of gangsters is sent to dole out nasty revenge against The Coven, who had AoE'd the EOG on a previous raid. Payback, she is usually a bitch.

July 5 - Rumors abound that the gangsters are now raiding not for honor, or upgrades, but at the demand of their petshield. The ghouls demand more exotic and hard to get meats daily. The gangsters denied this was the reason they killed the Defenders of Valgrind and the Sith Order and dragged their bodies back to the ghouls. The ghouls commented that the sacrifice was appropriate. For now.

July 7 - The sea gangstas get attacked by the man! They kill all them bitches in their headquarters at Venture Industries, but it's too low rent to take the flag. Edgetown never been one to turn down free offer from our Pirate homies, so we went and ganked 'em.

July 8 - The Mystery of Who Framed Michael Vick? is solved! It was the Phoenix! Naturally they all die horribly.

July 10 - The EOG hear of a rumored attack against the Warseers, naturally they run to help and warn them! Unfortunately the Warseers are injured in the process and the EOG's healing bullets don't seem to help at all! Discouraged with that effort, the gangsters carried tons of rocket fuel down to Blackport and blasted CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS into orbit...around the Ragged Philanthropists :)

July 13 - Weylan returns to the EOG! Hooray! Also, there was a raid of some sort in which dozens and dozens of demons in the Scourge and Nightmares were slaughtered. But Weylan's back! :)

July 17 - AuthorGreg leads the EOG in the fight against piracy. He maxes out wrecking up A Clockwork Orange. Then, the stalwart group is sucked through a portal back in time where they had to fight a vicious army of the Undeadites! Eventually AuthorGreg and the EOG return. Sure, he could have stayed and been king, but when you're an EOG you're a king wherever the hell you go. Hail to the king baby.

July 20 - MacDre orders a rare splitting of the forces. The main strike team decimated the Coven of the Blood Moon, demanding the release of Michael Vick. Meanwhile, a smaller detachment took out the Rambling Drunks in retaliation for repairing the door of Tha Crib. Afterwards there were enough leftover (and a few newcomers) to also take down the Shrine of Hamaskis.

July 22 - A group of wandering gangsters encounters Lawful Good!! The adventurers are killed and their bodies stripped of all valuable goods before the EOG return to their crib to sell the loot. Now those jerks now how the orcs feel!

July 27 - The EOG decide to see how tough they are and launch an attack on the biggest faction they can. The Shining Ones answer that question with authority, repelling the EOG raid fiercely. Although over a hundred bodies are left on the ground, once the EOG have all died twice they must unfortunately admit defeat.

July 29 - In order to mend their bruised gangster egos, the EOG go pick on some little guys. The Defenders of the Nifty and the Spanish Inquisition are knocked over and robbed. Oddly, the comfy chair stolen from the Spanish Inquisition is much Niftier than anything found in Defender of the Nifty's stronghold.

[edit] August 2007

There was a disturbance in the Gangsta Bonus. It was as if a thousand weak ass suckers whined at once. MacDre was horribly affected and knocked out of commission!

Six Standards Taken - All Your Souls, Alliance of Saint Germaine, Asylum, Convent of Nuns, Invisible Danger, Shining Ones,

August 1 - The end of a long honor drive finally nears, and the EOG do what they do best, go looking for hos. In this case, they're for an elephant. Yes, we have an old school elephant now. Be jealous. In any case the gangsters go looking for elephant hos in the Asylum. The crazy folks put up a tough fight but the gangsters triumph in the end...just barely. Still, it's enough to get the honor to buy a new chair to prop up against the door.

August 12 - Bugs don't stop gangstas. Factions twice our size don't slow us down. And they certainly can't shut us up. Emotes from EOG clearing TSO - Thirty Eight. Total Emotes from TSO's three-wave-marathon-of-failure - One. Thirty Eight to One. EOG wins decisively.

August 19 - MacDre is laid to rest the only way a gangsta should be. Covered in the blood of three rival factions, clutching their standards in his hands, jumped out by his homies. Alliance of Saint Germaine, Invisible Danger, Convent of Nuns all taken down. Harper Island burns as MacDre's soul is finally set free.

August 25 - The EOG visit the Convent to confess some sins... Oh no wait, tha EOG went to tha Convent of Nuns to teach them penguins a lesson about vulturin' inside tha Crib after we been raided by people with class. The nuns couldn't handle it and revoked. Gangsters then headed to All Your Souls, Olivia Newton John's legal representatives. Tha gangstas threw around more legal mumbo-jumbo than tha cast of Alley Macbeal and more bullets than tha cast of The Wire, but Kibbs is still waitin' on his alamony.

[edit] September, 2007

September was a slow month for gangstas. Some blame the changes to wards. Some blame the fact that the imbalance in favor of defensne was becoming all too apparent as a lot of factions reverted to sitting on IRC all day waitinng for bots to go off.

Five Flags Taken - A Clockwork Orange, Alliance of Saint Germaine, Demons Without Borders, Invisible Danger, Venture Industries

September 5th - Do the EOG ever need a reason to smash the Alliance of Saint Germaine? No, but it helps when the AoSG leads a force consisting of most of Harper Island and half of Paradise against Edgetown a few days earlier.

September 11th - Harper weeps as the worst gangster attack in nearly a week ravages the island! Invisible Danger, Venture Industries, Demons Without Borders, and A Clockwork Orange are all slaughtered. A sobbing representative of Invisible Danger was heard to weep "This is the worst September 11th ever!!!" Harper promises to never forget.

September 20th - The Gangstas took a trip to the funhouse, but a dedicated defense by the Demons Next Door denies them the flag.

September 29th - After a nasty fight, a lot of lag, and a bug or two, the EOG are finally repulsed from the stronghold of Acta Sanctorum.

[edit] October 2007

Another slow month for Edgetown. Bitter infighting over whether to buy a Basketball Court or another Greenhouse cripples EOG leadership. The crisis is resolved by the return of MacDre, who points out that you can only have one greenhouse. This bitter issue finally resolved, the EOG found time to go on a few raids.

Six Flags Taken - CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS, Demons Next Door, Friends of the Wrench, Ragged Philanthropists, Sentinels, Shining Ones

October 4th - As they tend to do, the Ragged Philanthropists fail to keep their infusing to themselves and get a stern warning. And by stern warning, I mean they get slaughtered to a man, mocked for believing in the wrong god, cursed for being bitches, and generally stomped. Jack Deck was heard to whisper to one of the 12,000 leaders of that faction (structured that way so that blame for their fuck-ups is spread about more) that another transgression will result in E-town revoking the RPs privilege to exist. Yes, apparently, they can do that.

October 9th - CHAOS CHAOS CHAOS umm...I guess did something? Maybe not? Who knows. Certainly not them. Oh but Ice-T took their flag just to be safe.

October 16th - The Return of the Gangsta. Friends of the Wrench naturally came to help their cousins in the RPs on a flag grab against the EOG. Recognizing these cockroaches for who they are, the EOG squash them. They have enough energy afterwards to shoot up the police station of the Sentinels, just for old time's sake.

October 19th - What do you need to build a basketball court? The standard of the Shining Ones of course! How exactly this was done remains a mystery, MacDre is tight mouthed about it. Jack Deck denied being a secret orc hater. The bodycount was massive. And all for a basketball court?

October 25th - A few days after some "federal agents" come from Next Door looking to bust MacDre, Edgetown decides to evict the slimy rats from "Next Door" and move them to "Far Away." Lil Cuz banged in his green tree (so fresh in his green tee), the Orcish Scout was his charming self as always, but Kettch was the man of the hour, bringing along nearly a hundred undead homies who slaughtered the Demons Next Door like they'd never been killed before. It's a shame the ghouls were too worn out to take the standard afterwards. Every critic worth a damn gave the raid 10/10, although the Demons Next Door Fox News affiliate Bester gave the raid a lower score.

[edit] November, 2007

Rumor has it that most of the EOG was drunk for the entire month of November. Very few remember actually doing any of the events below.

Five Standards Taken - Alliance of St. Germaine, Dunell Hills Police Department, Murder Inc., NRA Nutjobs, OVERPOWERED

November 8th - Oblivion Squadron and the EOG try a joint raid against those pacifist bastards the Doctors Without Borders. Unfortunately some weed goes missing, a few comments are made about the way demons smell, and soon the gangsters and demons are slaughtering each other, not the doctors. OS and the EOG are no longer allies!

November 13th - It's turtle season. The Alliance of St. Germaine makes the mistake of sheltering a turtle that managed to piss off the EOG, and every single one of them dies for it.

November 16th - In a display of precision, tactical brilliance, and eloquence that the Nexus has never seen the like of, the EOG flexed so hard they crushed OVERPOWERED. Rumors that MacDre thought it was a different faction located there were declared positively false after everyone saying such a thing outloud was shot.

November 23rd - "That's one small step for a gangsta, one giant leap for Edgetown." A secret cache of rocket fuel is liberated from the popo and the gangstas use it to build the next module of the Edgetown Space Ship. Once it is launched to Alpha Centauri the alternate victory win will be theirs! Hurrah!

November 27th - For over a year the EOG have been hearing stories about the EoG. People have been looking for them in Edgetown, coming to them with deals, asking to join the EoG etc. Who the hell are they? The EOG hunt them down to the west side of Saint Germaine, slaughtering a pack of demons who they've never seen before and assume must be the EoG. There are no survivors.

November 30th - Ghouls get very hungry in Edgetown. Sometimes so hungry that they swallow the basic nexal forces and strange things happen. Such was the case when two EOG liches led a horde of ghouls that devoured the NRA Nutjobs. Pacman Jones swears he wasn't there.

[edit] December, 2007

As is tradition, in December all members of the EOG seemed strangely detached and more focused on some weird other dimension than on Edgetown. Funny how that works.

Three Standards Taken - Alliance of St. Germaine, Dark Oppressors Guild, Invisible Danger

December 7th - Edgetown takes the lead in high quality ghoul care. So many gangster ghouls have been crammed into the small slum for so long, working hard hours demolishing strongholds that the ghoul babies are growing up without proper education and health care! By establishing a ghoul-only Day Care Center in the stronghold, Glinda the Good Lich sets a new standard for treatment of the undead that the rest of the Nexus will hopefully soon follow! Generous donations of honor from the Alliance of St. Germaine and Invisible Danger made this possible.

December 13th - Seeking to expand their business, the EOG go to sell rocks in stygia. Somehow a few of the DOs drop dead from the merchandise. All in all its considered a success. Except for by the customers, but then again that's how it always is, isn't it?

[edit] 2008

(2008 Description pending)

Thirty Seven Standards Taken - All Your Souls (x2), Apocalypse Now!! (x3), Assassins of the Myst, Asylum, Claw, Convent of Nuns, Evil Engineers LLC, Friends of the Wrench (x2), Grinning Souls (x3), Guild of the Dragonmages, Haunters of the Dark, Hentai All-Stars, Invisible Danger (x3), Kommando Dosenbier, Literati, Magi Anonymous (x3), NRA Nutjobs (x3), Ragged Philanthropists, Random Shocking Violence, Shadow, Stain Gang, Stygian Outlaws, Suburban Ed's Peasant Militia, The Fighting Jesi Unseen University

[edit] January 2008

It was slow going in January. Gangster morale was low and many were distant and preoccupied.

Three Standards Taken - Magi Anonymous (x2), NRA Nutjobs

January 3rd, 2008 - To commemorate the smashing success of the Year of the Gangsta the EOG head to Poco Maquez to sell some memorabilia. It all goes well until the elder powers decide to punish the cocky gangsters by freezing time. Enraged that they should be treated so wrong, the EOG slaughter a pack of magi and take their flag.

January 8th, 2008 - A small crew of dedicated EOGs decides to see how the cosmic force of entropy (represented by Oblivion Squadron) goes up against the supergroovalisticprosifunkstication of the gangsta bonus. The fight comes down to the wire, with entropy winning by about as slim a margin as one can win by.

January 10th, 2008 - After a surprise visit from some demons who live nearby but not quite next door, the gangsters find they have lost not only their standard, but also their emergency backup standard! The gangsters quickly rally to retrieve their lost flags. Three hours after being raided the EOG are back up with nearly a hundred pets.

January 16th, 2008 - After wastin' away again in Honalululand the EOG decide they've had enough of a certain Magi spamming them and express their discontent in the manner of their people - by killing everyone who is associated with him and his neighbors as well. Poco Maquez burns.

January 22nd, 2008 - The gangstas slog through time and space fighting in slow motion against the Demons Next Door. They fight hard but the Stygian masters are the victors.

[edit] February 2008

Announcement some some light had gone stray sparked interest in many gangsters that had dozed off. The return of some veteran gangsters sparked the EOG to take the most flags they had captrued since July. The purchase of a Game Room also improved things!

Seven Standards Taken - Convent of Nuns, Friends of the Wrench, Haunters of the Dark, Hentai All-Stars, Invisible Danger, Kommando Dosenbier, Shadow

February 9th, 2008 - The EOG aren't the only group of humans that resists the corrupt influence of demons and angels in the nexus. There are many others scattered about. Sometimes the EOG give a damn when one of them gets picked on by angels or demons. Other times not so much. This happened to be one of those times, and the Friends of the Wrench are shot repeatedly in order to teach them to play nice with those who haven't sold out.

February 13th, 2008 - Jack Deck began the evening by proposing a philosophical question over a snifter of brandy as the gentlemen and ladies of Edgetown discussed the works of Wittgenstein. "Gentlemen." He said. "Ladies." He said. "Shall we ride, or die?" An intense debate took place. The merits of both positions were throughly deconstructed and analyzed. Eventually a partial majority chose to ride. The site? An island paradise of course. Finding it infested with demons the gangsters made quick work of the brutes and secured a barbecue site for Edgetown.

Februray 14th, 2008 - Early in the morning on Valentine's Day, when those blessed single gangsters thanked the lord they didn't have to spend ridiculous amounts of money on their girlfriends just to avoid getting glared at, a small crew of true ballers woke up refreshed as if the island party had never occurred. They hit the street and rolled hard, fighting with monstrous demons for two and a half hours, rescuing untold numbers of Japanese school girls from the perverted freaks. The gangsters assured reporters afterwards that the latter part was an accident.

February 18th, 2008 - Edgetown liches are very conscientious of proper ghoul care. As many a Gangster Health Professional can tell you, Ghouls get maximum cardiovascular workouts by chewing apart angels. After testing this theory out on the medically minded (apparently) invisible danger the gangstas decide to use their leftover energy to decimate the Convent of Nuns. As an extra bonus, this attack made baby jesus cry.

February 28th, 2008 - To celebrate Glinda's conversion the EOG ride out to get a Forgotten Game Room. The most forgetful faction of all is Kommando Dosenbier, who for the last several months have been forgetting to recover their flag from the EOG. But it isn't quite enough to afford a Game Room so the gangstas stomped some other random fools they found, grabbed some honor, and used it to pick up their 14th upgrade. Werd.

[edit] March 2008

As the gangsters slowly awakened from their blackhole induced malaise they wandered through paradise, stygia, and purgatorio slaughtering anyone they find.

Nine Standards Taken - All Your Souls (x2), Assassins of the Myst, Claw, Guild of the Dragonmages, Literati, NRA Nutjobs, Ragged Philanthropists, Random Shocking Violence

March 2nd, 2008 - Angered that the Ragged Philanthropists had interfered with their attack on Invisible Danger, the gangsters rode up to paradise and taught the punks a lesson. Pacman Jones denied having been at the scene although several members of his ghoul possee were caught punching lawyers on security footage.

March 8th, 2008 - The director of Jack Deck's next music video was having a hard time getting the Edgetown girls to follow his directions. Every time he'd tell them where to shake their asses he would end up with broken glass in his eye. Eventually all the music video directors were dead and the EOG had to take things into their own hands, so thy went to recruit some demon bitches in a stygian harem. After signing them to lifetime deals, the gangsts shot the club up. Cuz that's what they do.

March 14th, 2008 - The killings in the Edgetown mosque are avenged as a swarm of gangsters takes down the NRA Nutjobs without the use of any AoE. A lone wolfdragon held out at the end but despite allies pouring in to defend nobody could stop the EOG.

March 16th, 2008 - Mildly annoyed at the ineffective Magi who had tried to stop them from taking the Nutjob flag, the gangsters break in and shoot up their school to teach them not to mess with the EOG raids. The Magi piss themselves so badly that they have to summon in not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE OTHER FACTIONS to keep the EOG from taking their flag. When you're that lame, it doesn't matter if you keep your flag, you've already lost.

March 19th, 2008 - The Literati were one of the little bitch factions that came running when the Magi were crying for help. They learn it's a bad idea to be subservient little bitch demons as the gangsters kill them all. Random Shocking Violence is also paid a visit for killing an EOG member in Edgetown.

March 23rd, 2008 - In rapid response gangsta action the EOG hammer All Your Souls who had attacked them the day before, decimating the poor angels before they could even begin to explain who all the souls were belong to. The need for revenge not quite sated, and yet completely fulfilled, left the gangsters in an awkward position where they felt as though other people needed to die, yet had nobody to shoot. A solution was happily found in the nearby Guild of the Dragonmages, who were beaten up and captured in short order. The EOG were pleased though to discover that the guild was no longer feeding orcs to dragons after their last warning, several months ago.

March 27th, 2008 - An annoying little zerg does his best to get the EOG to pay attention to him and is rewarded by being thoroughly embarrassed. After laying down that diss the EOGs pop next door to say hi to the Assassins of the Myst, and thank them for coming into their stronghold the other day. No survivors, naturally.

[edit] April 2008

A slow month ended with a bang as the gangstas were finally given the incentive they needed to leave Edgetown and move to the nizzle.

Eleven Standards Taken - Evil Engineers LLC, Friends of the Wrench, Grinning Souls (x2), Invisible Danger (x2), Magi Anonymous, Stygian Outlaws, Suburban Ed's Peasant Militia, The Fighting Jesi, Unseen University

April 3rd, 2008 - Edgetown's superiority over the Wrench is established through violence and killing. In fact, I heard the Wrench doesn't even like the Friends of the Wrench. It told me they were fat and look like jerks.

April 6th, 2008 - EOG tries to raid AoSG. Black hole. Five factions in on defense. blah blah blah. This marks the first time that an EOG raid has failed to take the AoSG flag. And it didn't have shit to do with anything except the fucking game lagging and crashing.

April 9th, 2008 - I'm not supposed to talk about the faction that EOG joint raided with (for the first time in about half a year) to take out two of the groups that came to defend AoSG. It was good to raid with allies again, especially against factions that refuse to defend on their own. Might as well bring the backup with us against these chumps. Our allies took the Demons Without Borders flag, keeping them from using demon skills to defend angels...ummm I mean 'healing people' (right)...for another day.

April 12th, 2008 - Of course not all factions are tough enough to require backup against. Magi Anonymous and the Fighting Jesi go down in a flurry of AoE and threatening language. As WilyMac points out, the lack of Orcish Jesus, Gangsta Jesus or Black Jesus clearly mark the FJ as the faction of the fake white jesus (damn you Michaelangelo). Within a week of the AoSG raid, all the noteworthy factions that came to their defense have been slaughtered.

April 20th, 2008 - Six factions hit the EOG. Four angels, one demon, one nexal. Despite the ridiculous numbers, Edgetown slaughters the invaders before half of them can even run. The other fat cowardly angels tuck tail and get out of there like most crackers do when they take a wrong turn and end up in the hood. Alliance of St. Germaine, Demons Without Borders, Guild of the Dragonmages, Invisible Danger, Magi Anonymous, and the Fighting Jesi are all sent home crying.

April 23rd, 2008 - Glinda's midnight gangsters ride through harper, revealing and slaughter the invisible danger fools that led the 4/20 attack and also taking out the "Angels with Agony Curse" (or AWAC - pronounced a-whack, as in "this faction is...") aka the Demons Without Borders. Some factions just never get tired of being target practice.

April 24th, 2008 - Some factions are just asking for it. The Grinning Souls set the EOG hostile and then ran their mouths about how great they were for vulturing our raid on MA. Call 'em Bronson. It was amusing watching their actives clear out of the stronghold to save their own skins, leaving the flag for the EOG. Afterwards the Allies of Grinning Souls (AoGS, lol!) came pouring in. Hmm. Angels and demons working together? Looks like Caldera is the new Harper.

April 27th, 2008 - The day of the exile. As the gangstas gather to drink the ghoul aid the vanguard stormed the trail, knocking over the Evil Engineers, Unseen University, and Sururban Ed's Peasant Militia. The path of blood and anguish prepared, the EOGs back at the crib were devoured by Soulcatcher and Kettch's ghouls, paving the trail for Nizzleheim, and the start of a new age. Kibbs covertly torched Tha Crib when all was done, and the Edgetown OGs became the Exiles.

April 28th, 2008 - El Capone got up early, ate a hearty breakfast and raided the Stygian Outlaws on his way to the barn for more milk. Later in the day the gangstas did a more organized affair, hopping on the death train to Big Whiskey and showing the Grinning Souls what they think of demons in Nizzleheim. (p.s. 65 honor in one raid. Muhahahaha!) And for the icing on the cake, the "hardcore raiding" faction the Grinning Souls was crying about being "griefed" afterwards. There's never a raid so beautiful that the other guys crying can't make better. Or maybe they were just upset they didn't have any angels to beg for help to this time.

[edit] May 2008

It was a month of guerrilla war as the Grinning Souls invaded Boomtown. The EOG early on decided not to play the IRC-Campers game, and so revoked their SH and went nomadic for the duration of the struggle. Although there were successful raids, the lack of SH prevented the EOG from taking many standards.

One Standard Taken - The Grinning Souls

May 5th, 2008 - with the Assistance of the Assassins of the Myst, the EOG stormed Boomtown and decimated the Grinning Souls.

May 22nd, 2008 - The Grinning Souls realized early that they couldn't hope to compete with the EOG infusion so they formed an alliance with Magi Anonymous to help them out. Faced with both Holy Conduits and Unholy Stains aimed at their home turf the EOG staged a guerilla raid on MA, clearing the stronghold six times despite not having a stronghold of their own to launch from.

[edit] June 2008

The invasion of Boomtown did not last long and by the end of May the invaders had all but given up, officially leaving later in the month. Despite having both Unholy Stain and Holy Conduit in their pocket as well as all the angel and demon skills, the alliance of angels and demons against nexals failed and crumbled. Still, summer is always a busy time for the EOG with all the hos and 40s to be gotten to, but the gangstas began to up the violence in Boomtown and throughout the Nizzle as they got used to the interface jumping all over the place anytime they opened the inventory screen.

Six Standards Taken - Apocalypse Now!! (x3), Asylum, NRA Nutjobs, Stain Gang

June 1st, 2008 - Apocalypse Now!! was the faction that GS always bragged about having 'moved in' to the area as their sign of dominance. It surprised no one that these chumps got smacked around a lot by the EOG during the month of June. What can one say, it hurts to back the wrong horse.

June 19th, 2008 - See June 1st.

June 21st, 2008 - A visit to our old friends in the NRA Nutjobs pays big dividends!

June 24th, 2008 - the Asylum get a dose of reality!

June 27th, 2008 - the Stain Gang, an unwanted bunch of demons, gets tossed out of Boomtown.

June 29th, 2008 - See June 1st.