MFD
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FIGHTING FIRE, WITH BURST FIRE
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[edit] How the Maquez Fire Department came to be...
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In the beginning, there was nothing. Then out of the darkness poured.... a large bottle of Bourbon...... which turned out to be what god was drinking at the time. He decided to create a universe, and in the center of that universe was the Maquez Fire Department... but it was also where he stashed his liquor. Some good stuff at that. He had like, 20 bottles of rum, a couple 40 ouncers of tequila, and of course... Tony Dawson Molson Dry.
Moving on, this fire department was created for one reason, well okay, two. One being what I was just talking about... But the Main reason for this fire department was to protect the universe from evil, especially Tofu. But the lazy fire fighters broke into God's cellar and stole all of his alcohol, selling it to little kids on street corners for low, low prices. This angered the G-man, and saddened him. There was only one thing to be done: better Firefighters. Well, that, and more cowbell, god had a peculiar fever. ANYHOW, there had recently been a zombie outbreak in the city of Malton, caused by God's cat hocking up one helluva hairball all over a NecroTech building, but thats irrelevant. There was a courageous and rather fetching group of insanely sexy and smart Firefighters who overcame the zombie scourge using their good looks and high tolerance to alcohol. (They beat the zombies at a drinking competition, so the zombies had to go to the moon) However, it was not long before the moldy and funny looking zombies seeked revenge, and they built a tactical nuke from moon-rock and bacon. They launched this nuke with a dreadful fierceness at Malton and A Sploded it. This happened at just about the same time of the incident with the First Firefighters of Maquez. God came up with a plot, the plot to end all plots, or else he'd have to smite somebody's ass... but this master plan was to resurrect the members of the incredible and popular Malton Fire Department. God was unsucessful at first but he strived to recreate these handsome heros! He managed to bring back 20 odd members, as the rest were suffering from the nuclear fallout in Malton. Soon afterwards, God went into a coma from the strain of seeing all of these dashing people at once, so the MFD members took it upon themselves to commit unspeakable acts of coolness in an effort to bring back God, cause he promised them each 20 bucks, and I must say, The MFD love their 20 dollar bills. At this point in time, Malton's MFD members are slowly dying, but immediately being sent to the nexus to combat those who wear eight layers of socks and eat month-old eggs. The MFD changed their name drastically, so drastically, that you could not recognize the change... they changed their name to.... THE MFD!!! (Maquez Fire Department) Oddly enough, Maquez is pronounced Wayne, in memoriam after a rather violent spoon fight by two drunken hoboes named Dwayne and Wayne, but that doesn't matter to the awesomeness of the members of the MFD.
[edit] Mission Statement
The MFD is dedicated to the safety of the St. Germaine Archipelago. The MFD is a good faction; our job is to hunt evil, the members of society who profit through the destruction of others.And hey, if you're an evil faction willing to work with us to terminate evil, we're cool with that too.
As a member of the Jonestown & Southton Co-prosperity Sphere, the MFD is especially dedicated to maintaining peace in Jonestown and Southton.
[edit] Maquez Fire Department - Fire Codes
In order to ensure safety to the people of St. Germaine, a Fire Code must be enacted. Below follows important parts of this Fire Code, to which all factions are strongly encouraged to follow, lest they be subject to our regulations regarding condemned buildings. These Codes are subject to rewriting, and may change at any time. Ignorance of the Law is not an excuse!
Section 1
1.a - The Maquez Fire Department is hereby established to combat the fires that may arrise in St. Germaine.
1.b The Maquez Fire Department (MFD) shall have the authority to ensure for the safety of all peoples of St. Germaine, and to protect and serve for the greater good of the people. To help the MFD carry out its duties, the Fire Code shall be amended as needed, to adapt to the ever changing city.
- 1.b.1 - In light of the recent population changes, 'peoples' is amended to include Angels, Demons, and mortals with extraordinary abilities.
1.c - The MFD shall recruit and train its volunteers to the best of their ability, and the volunteers shall aim to be the best in St. Germaine. The MFD shall provide for its members the best firefighting equipment that St. Germaine has to offer.
1.d - The MFD has the authority to enforce all rules as listed below. The MFD shall be unwavering in its duty to protect St. Germaine.
1.e - All Firemen are expected to sign this oath, The Fireman's Creed.
- My duty is to protect those that I serve, The People of St. Germaine, from whatever danger they may face; whether it be fire, demon, or angel; no matter the danger, I will protect the people to the best of my ability. I am but a servitor of the people; my duty is to those who I serve, and to no one else. I am not bound to protecting only mortals or angels; demons also fall under my protection. I serve The People, without fear, without remorse, without fail. My Duty is to The People. Those who live in St. Germaine, those who fall underneath its many districts, those who would hide and cower in buildings. By my Fireman's Oath, I am bound to protect those who are in danger, those in times of need, those who I would serve.
- Upon my Honor as a Firefighter, this is my Creed.
1.f - All Firemen are expected to save all kittens in case of building fires or very tall trees.
Section 2
2.a - All buildings shall not be placed on any high energy area, this includes portals and power stations.
2.b - All building must maintain clear and established escape routes, blocking of said routes with wards or baricades, will result in swift and harsh repercussions.
2.c - All building must have electrical wiring following the Building Code, faulty wiring is a common cause of house fires.
2.d - Tampering with the electrical wiring without a permit is a punishable offense.
Section 3
3 - All buildings must have sufficient fire exits
3.a - There must be two evacuation routes from any room in the building, and the whole building should be possible to clear inside 10 minutes of a fire alarm going off.
3.b - All fire exists must open outwards so as not to trap large amounts of fleeing people
3.c - All fire exits must be clearly marked and illuminated. A power generator must be present in case of power failure.
3.d - Fire exits may at no time be permanently blocked.
Section 4
4 - The proper fire extinguishers must be kept up to date at all times. Having the incorrect fire extinguisher is grounds for condemning a building.
4.a - As per regulations concerning 'Exploding Pariahs', all premises must have Level I 'EM-Proof' Fire Extinguishers. Failure to do so can result in massive fires, burning body parts, and otherwise other ill effects of hatred and hellfire.
4.b - As per new testing, all Level I 'EM-Proof' Extinguishers are to be immediately replaced with Mk. 2 'EM-Proof' Fire extinguishers. Earlier models did not account for actual unit damage, IE: blood claws.
4.c - As per new testing and regulations, all 'EM-Proof' Fire Extinguishers are recalled. A slight miscalculation in core temperatures in exploding Pariah parts has caused Fire Extinguishers to, well, not actually extinguish pariah bits. It is highly recommended to upgrade to new 'IB-Proof' Level II Fire Extinguishers, which have been tested* and are immune to all explosions, fires, and can put out the hardiest of Burning Auras. Shelf life is estimated to be 1 year, and can now be stored in personal packs, for when you need to save yourself in the field.
- Note: Testing included several hundred exposures to such dangerous conditions such as wall banging, drops from dozens of feet, and most rigorous, being stepped on repeatedly by MFD test volunteers.
Section 5
5 - There will be absolutely NO section 5 under any circumstances!
Section 6
6 - MFD Inspectors have the right to force conformance to maximum safe room capacity.
6.a - All judgements as to what the maximum capacity should be are at the discression of the enforcing Inspectors.
6.b - Right of inspection under code 6 covers all public and private buildings, forests, golf clubs, strongholds, and other places where people may gather.
6.c - The authority has the right to forcibly eject any individual or individuals to bring the building back into code.
6.d - Order of ejection is left to the discression of the enforcing inspectors, but it is recommended that those most likely to explode in a fiery ball of death and mayhem (Pariahs and their superiors) or toss around firestorms willy-nilly (Defilers and their ilk) be the first forcably removed.
6.g.subsection 4 - Building over capacity for 'leetness -- The Fire Marshal rates Maximum Leet Capacity for your building as 10 Leet Warriors.
Section 7
7 - No member of the department is to maltreat the undead in any way at all... if there's anybody watching.
7.a - Endangering the living impaired* by reckless use of fire is punishable at the discretion of the MFD.
- Note: The undead.
7.b - 'IB-Proof' Level II Fire Extinguishers must be carried by all Liches attempting to create a zombie horde.
7.c - Anyone caught attempting to ignite your local undead brethren will be subject to painful chainsaw dismemberment.
Section 8
8 - Any person or persons willfully causing or is suspected of causing fiery destruction is restricted to Stygia.
8.a - Persons suspected of being of an explosive nature may not occupy public buildings or spaces outside Stygia.
8.b -Persons capable of infernal fire-based magic wishing to enter any other plane than Stygia must register with the MFD records department.
Section 10
10.a - Strongholds must not be built with any flammable materials.
10.b - Strongholds built with flammable materials should carry MFD sanctioned implements of fire safety. If this are not accepted, they will be forced upon the owner for the security of the neighborhood.
10.c - Strongholds are to be randomly inspected. You will not be notified of these inspections, and are expected to be courteous to your MFD inspectors.
10.d - Strongholds are designated No Smoking areas, any lit cigarettes will be put out and the offender fined severely.
10/EXE - Finally, if you happen to be in exceeded violation of any Fire Codes when we inspect, your stronghold will be demolished, via standard procedures.
Section 13
13 - Spontaneous combustion is prohibited except in designated burning zones with proper permits.
13.a Permits for Auto-Thermogenisis are available at all MFD fire stations.
13.b Any Infernal Behemoths on a long-term slow burn must keep permits on them at all times. If ordered by a MFD Fireman, he must be willing to jump in a lake to extinguish him (or her)self.
13.c Any demon who refuses to extinguish himself will be safely extinguished with liberal use of ranged weaponry.
13.d Avian self-immolation is absolutely forbidden in all circumstances.
Section 15
15 - Firearms must be safely stowed when not in use.
15.a - Firearms improperly discharged in the direction of an inspecting officer will bring down a world of hurt on the [CENSORED] son of a [CENSORED] who just shot at me.
15.c - Firearms not fitted with regulation flash suppressors are illegal to carry and use, as they can spark and light dangerous fires.
15.d - Improper Storage of Firearms -- You can't spend ALL day polishing your weapons, they must be stored in proper fireproof boxes when not in use.
Section 16
16 - Do not get in our way.
16.a - Obstructing a firefighter from his duties is punished at the discretion of the MFD.
The full text of the fire codes can be found at the records department.
Directions to the records department: Enter the offical building of red tape, head downstairs to sub-basement "C" (mind the third, fourth, fifth and seventh stairs are missing), turn left after the fourth missing light bulb, enter the door marked "Do Not Enter -- Really Dangerous Stuff Inside," unlock the fourth filing cabinet with the key you get from that Infernal Behemoth at the department of locked up stuff, sort through the papers (sorry they're not in alphabetical order -- a Void Walker ate the secretary), and then you can get the proper permits to request the information.
[edit] Hall Of Fame
Aux Captured the 'Lords of the Underverse' Standard and 'The Vault's' standard.
Oakenstave Captured 'The Fugies' Standard
Dark Wingstar Captured 'The Sith Order's Standard
Aleph Null Captured the 'Lords of the Underverse' Standard for the second time and the 'Chaos Chaos Chaos' Standard.
Dark Wingstar Captured 'The Elite Fist of Deathhammer Wing's Standard
[edit] New Members
Those who aspire to something different, or just running around hitting demons with axes, are welcome to sign up and join the party. Just sign up here and we can grant you safe access, and the chance of promotion. If forums aren't for you, well then don't register. Just hit things with an axe without safe access, that works too.
