The Ragged Philanthropists
From NexusWiki
As of October 10, 2008, the Ragged Philanthropists are no more. They have shut down and gone out of business, feeling that their particular paradigm was no longer suited to the current Nexus. This page is left as a memorial of who they were.
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[edit] Beginnings
Once upon a time there was a faction that lived in Valhalla. They were a pretty big faction, as factions go. They had this sweet setup where no one much bothered them, because they made a nice little safe-ish Fortress in the Wrench. They protected people. They gave free toys away. They were unlikely to turn up round your place and smash all the windows in with bricks and make a mess on the carpet. They were a bit like Santa, but all year round, and with more otter and less reindeer. They also had some cock-and-bull backstory about the whole thing being a front for them trying to find their missing fortune. Everyone forgot that bit. It was likely just a silly story anyway. And then it all went a bit pear-shaped...
[edit] The Forgotten War
Yes, the annual Laundry Day arrived. Late. Who knew that newspaper and sticky tape top hats were dry clean only? And who knew that stuck in the deepest, darkest recesses of the Sock Heap was a fateful note...
Dear Sirs. We are pleased to confirm that your assets have been invested in a controlling share of the Forgotten City Property Company...
Apparently, rather than drunkenly gambling, burying or eating the fortune Throctukes had somehow used it to buy the entire Forgotten City at some point in the distant past. OH HAPPINESS! Our days of poverty and re-using teabags were behind us. Bags were packed, and with a jolly wave the entire faction decamped to their new home...
And there it was, spread out before us. The City of Raggitude (formerly the Forgotten City). The new home of the faction. Or so we thought. Within 24 hours of moving in, we met squatters who claimed that they owned the City. And they were evil. Oh so very evil. We noticed this when they clubbed together, smashed up our ward, and then clubbed us. To death. Clearly our plans to turn the City into a new Fortress of Raggitude writ large were going to have to be put on hold. Lawyers from both sides have filed suit and counter-suit, but frankly no one listened. It all turned into a bit of a bloodbath.
[edit] The Desposed Dictator
The Otter Underground, aka Otter Movement, aka Restorationists, having discovered that the whole Forgotten City crusade was a hoax perpetrated by a Throctukes fallen to warlike insanity. They overthrew the mad dictator Throctukes, freeing the faction and the peoples of the Forgotten City from his despotic rule. Throc fled, vowing revenge, and the Ragged Otters led the faction back to the Wrench to rebuild the faction in its original spirit of philanthropy and Givenating. Long live the Otters!
[edit] Protecting the Vaults
After spending some time back in the Wrench, the Ragged Philanthropists moved to Paradise where they settled in with the purpose of protecting the southern Vaults from the incursions of Evil. Tirelessly patrolling and warding the Vaults, the Ragged angels restored the holy libraries to places for peaceful book-readers from the charnal houses of horror they had been.
[edit] Stygian Theme Park
Now that the Vaults were safe(r), the RP looked to Stygia. Most of the raiders of the Vaults came through the portal to Stygia located just south of the Vaults, so the RP moved through the portal and set up a protected zone around the portal, denying access to those of Evil intent. Alas, their success drew the ire of the demonic horde and at length the Pirates of R'lyeh stomped all over the Theme Park, wrecked the waterslides, and drove the RP back to Paradise. After a short war wherein the RP worked with Acta Sanctorum and other angelic factions in a vain attempt to drive off the buccaneers, the RP conceded defeat and retired back to Valhalla.
[edit] Poco Maquez
The Ragged Philanthropists are currently located on the island of Poco Maquez, where they continue their mission of making their surroundings safe for the good folk of the Nexus and Givenating Neat Stuff.
[edit] The Ragged Rules
The basic Ragged Philanthropist Member Rules are as follows:
- Don't attack faction members, friends, or allies.
- Don't attack those with good or neutral morality.
- Don't zerg. The RP do not tolerate any form of alt/multi abuse.
- Don't be an ass.
- Give cool stuff to Goods and Neutrals, but not Evils.
- Be of good or neutral alignment.
- Be excellent to one another.
For further guidelines and special notes, please see the Ragged Rules Thread on the RP forums.
[edit] Recruitment
Want to join? We're looking for Infusers to help us to stake our claim on the city, and for burly types who are capable of evicting violent types who would kill anyone not in their inbred hick community. Or something.
Fringe benefits include*:
- FREE greeting from a playful otter
- Beer.
- Organization! In the form of Kandarin, the playful otter, Dergones, and many others!
- Cheese.
- Fish.
- A small dedicated team of crafters Keeping Your Stuff Working.
- Imaginary top hats.
- United Nations approval as an official Person.
- ACTUAL ACCESS to the intarweb.
- A tree.
- A waterslide.
- Free advice from the otter!
- More attention from Hawt Chicks.
- A reason to get out of bed in the morning.
- Cookies.
As always, we can be contacted through our forum.
Should an otter be unavailable for your greeting a certified otter impersonator will provide the greeting and a forged signed certificate will not ever ever be given. Consumables included for illustrative purposes only. RP will not provide cheese, fish, beer or cookies but merely points out that you may purchase and consume such items with impunity whilst a member of the faction. RP does not take responsibility for any allergies you may or may not have, and won't be looking after you should you eat out of date stuff (though we may commiserate with you, we can be nice like that). Internet access is entirely your own responsibility and doesn't have anything to do with us. The tree is not yours, though should you find one you may feel free to look at it. The otter rarely gives what could be honestly described as "advice". It is best to treat his "advice" with the same trust as you would the ramblings of a delusional madman or the considered opinion of a whelk. Chicks may or may not be infected with avian flu, we're not sure why they're running a temperature. Be aware that if you leave it too late to join then the chicks may have grown into actual chickens. If you need us to provide you with a reason to get out of bed in the morning, seek medical attention. Your bladder should give you more reason to get out of bed than we do.
