The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
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| Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster | ||||||||||||||
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Have you been touched by His Noodly Appendage?
Contents |
[edit] What is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
A: We are a small group of adherents of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (better known as Pastafarianism) dedicated to spreading the knowledge and worship of His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, across the Nexus so that the joy He brings can live in the hearts (and stomachs) of the many.
Q: So you're another bunch of Angels and religious nutjobs then?
A: I should hope not - we're much more easygoing on issues of morality than most Angels. Rather than issuing strict commandments of what and what not to do the FSM chose to give ten stone tablets, His 'I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts' to the Pirate Captain Mosey atop Mount Salsa. Captain Mosey also dropped two of the original ten on the way down leaving just eight, which may further account for our somewhat relaxed moral standards. Besides, it's really hard to get a decent pasta meal up in Paradise. As for being nutjobs, perhaps, but we're no nuttier than any other religion out there...
Q: The "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts?" What are those?
A: Glad you asked. They're a rough code by which most Pastafarians live but are, to quote a wise Pirate scholar, "more what you'd call "guidelines" than actual rules". In recent times the FSM has issued us with a revised set to more accurately reflect the Nexus in which we currently find ourselves. In particular, he stated that he would like to take a more 'noodly appendages-on' approach and as such will be speaking to us on a regular basis. He was also considering a possible rethink of general prohibitions against violence - this is after all, a Nexus War.
Q: What's all this talk about Pirates? You keep mentioning them.
A: My, my - you are an astute observer aren't you? Congratulations! Indeed, as you correctly noticed we have made a number of references to Pirates so far. This is because Pirates were the original Pastafarians and favoured of His Noodliness. The decline in Pirate numbers in the old world is the key factor in global warming there.
Q: Global warming?
A: Indeed, Paradise, which is noted for it's distinct lack of Pirates, is being subjected to intense and withering sunshine every hour of every day. It is only a matter of time before desertification occurs. As for Stygia, a lack of Pirates there led to warming so extreme the glaciers that covered the land receded completely. Rumours that the loss of its natural habitat may have led to the extinction of the plane's only dragon remain unconfirmed. Only Valhalla remains safe for now (and Purgatorio - we're not exactly sure what's going on there but the meatball and noodly connectors configuration of the plane certainly points to a Complex-Carbohydrate based Creator)
Q: So, why should I join you?
A: You mean you need more than tastiness of the Almeaty and our ceremonial Pirate regalia!? Will the Stripper Factory and Beer Volcano of the Pastafarian heaven do?
Q: Errr, ok. I'm in!
A: Well, that wasn't really a question as the 'Q' hinted but we'll let that pass. Welcome aboard brother and R'Amen!
[edit] In-Game Aims
We've noticed that role-playing often takes a back seat in the dynamic cut and thrust of Nexus-based action. If you're lucky you may be on the receiving end of a quip before you get killed or attackers may shout a handful of battle cries and insults before they abandon the RPing and focus on the killing. Admittedly, this is not the case across the board and we salute those factions that do make an effort. However, we do think that it is still possible to do more.
Role-playing rather than strictly military concerns will be the primary focus of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Using the FSM as our jumping off point (though not being confined to directly FSM-related topics all the time) we hope to stage extended RPs that more resemble short plays than a random collection of themed one-liners (i.e. what one CotFSM member says should relate to what the others do in a meaningful way - there may even be basic narrative!). If this sounds like your thing and you like the cut of our jib, feel free to come aboard. Arrrr!
[edit] Miscellany
[edit] Joining
We're a closed faction at the moment so if you go to our in-game faction page you can request an invite from there. You should also post that you wish to join on our forum page (see below). Once we have the forum post and invite request we'll send one out - it'll appear in your faction mail where you click 'Accept' and that's that, you'll be a member of the Church! It's also worth noting though that we're a neutral faction and that means no angels or demons. Sorry if that's you but hey, what better excuse to start a new alt?
[edit] Ranks
If you're interested in this sort of thing, our current ranks are as follows:
Noodly Appendage - a member of the Church but a fairly new one. A Pastalyte if you will. Entrusted with entry to our Stronghold* but not access to our safe**
Pastafarian - A worshipper of the Flying Spaghetti Monster who has displayed sufficient commitment to His Noodliness to be granted access to the safe where we store all our good stuff (and a lot of junk that people don't really want but also don't want to drop either. You know what we're on about...)
Pastor - An individual who has shown devotion to the FSM that goes well beyond the norm and is now entrusted with a position of responsibility and care over his or her fellow Pastafarians.
Chosen of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - Those responsible for leading the Church and who have attained near-Pirate levels of holiness. It is said they can make Pasta from the raw energies of the Nexus itself...
*Disclaimer: Stronghold/Safe currently a hypothetical but were we to have one...
[edit] Contacting Us
When it happened we promised we'd let you know so we're pleased to announce that the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster now has a sub-forum on Barhah.com. If you would like to contact us, that's probably the best place to do so and if you would like to join the Church, we'll have a recruitment thread up soon.
For a more immediate response you can always contact us on IRC at #fsm (irc.nexuswar.com) Feel free to drop by - there's usually someone around to talk to. Depending on who it is you may even get something approaching halfway-intelligent conversation...
[edit] Diplomacy
It's probably a bit soon for all that but nonetheless, if you represent a faction that would like to become friendly, allied or just talk with the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster then please contact us as above for now and we'll see what we can sort out. If you'd like to declare hostilities on us or generally tell us we suck, for shame! Yes, shame on you! I hope your mother is proud...
[edit] Piping Hot Sermons Delivered
13/7/2007 - Pastafarians visited the Merry Men in order to spread the gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. As a demonstration of His power fantastic* feats of archery were performed in front of a dazzled crowd** before a generous pasta-based feast was served to those present and heartily enjoyed by all.
* Disclaimer: Varying definitions of 'fantastic' though at least nobody lost an eye and you can barely notice Berith walking with a limp these days...
** Disclaimer: Varying definitions of 'dazzled' but it seems people were paying enough attention to duck for cover when novice marksman, Mr Vandemar attempted to fire his bow
31/7/07 - The Church visited the Imperium Romanum to play hymns but following an unfortunate incident in which their guitarist was killed while appraising the impressive mosaics as the gear was set up, the rest of the band were overcome with great vengeance and furious anger that resulted in the slaughter of all those present. The faction standard along with some amphora of wine and olive oil were removed for 'safekeeping'.
07/08/07 - Rumours of poor quality, black market pasta being smuggled into St. Germaine had been circulating for a while and the Church decided to investigate. Operatives traced the smuggling operation to Harper Island and the Bringers of Death where they paid the degenerate crooks a bloody visit. Samples of the fake pasta removed from the scene were found to contain a cocktail of unhealthy ingredients ranging from cyanide to ground glass fragments. Thankfully these stockpiles have now been destroyed and across St. Germaine, you can once again tuck into a spaghetti and meatball dish safe in the knowledge you're getting it just as The Almeaty intended!
[edit] The Flying Spaghetti Monster on the Internet
Venganza.org Original homepage of the Flying Spaghetti Monster - despite sharing the same name (CotFSM) we are in no way officially connected. This faction is merely inspired by Flying Spaghetti Monsterism as a source of RP potential, though you could do a lot worse than Pastafarianism and the eight 'I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts'
Wikipedia article on said Eight 'I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts'
Open Letter to the Kansas Schoolboard The Open Letter in which Flying Spaghetti Monsterism was born out of objections to the teaching of Intelligent Design in schools.
Wikipedia artice on the Flying Spaghetti Monster in general
